


The Heart Is Alone

by Teese



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Forgiveness, Regret, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-16
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2018-02-13 10:43:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2147724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teese/pseuds/Teese
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki escaped from Asgard before getting his sentence and ends up in the very one place he would rather not visit again. Upon his arrival, he is struggling with his emotions and enters a depression of sorts. Little does he know that his escape has been turned into his punishment, and Odin is full of surprises in his ways of punishing the rather confused Loki… but in the midst of it all, you enter the picture, and Odin realizes that maybe you are exactly what Loki needs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't have any experience with this kind of a story, but I've been reading a few and found them interesting and I decided to give it a try :) hope you like it. Comments are veeeery appreciated :) and if you maybe have some suggestion, let me know! ^.^

Loki's POV

The escape from the realm of Asgard had been everything but glorious, and to the God of Mischief, this had become the standard of his life. The fallen prince, former son of Odin and brother of Thor, and now an outcast sentenced to live in the shadows of his ill-minded actions for the rest of his pitiful life. And in the midst of all these gloomy facts, Loki had been viciously thrown back to where his faith had been handed down to him, by no one but himself, of course, and in a realm that consisted of nothing but snow and wind and cold that could only be matched by the realm of Jötunheimr. He laughed, as he could either laugh or shed tears in his moment of absolute despair, and thought that maybe he should feel at home here? And in the blackness of the Scandinavian winter night, he changed himself back to his true shape, the monster that everyone so rightfully feared.

 

Huginn and Muninn had followed him from afar the first two weeks of his new life, and when the ravens had finally come to the conclusion that Loki was too exhausted and too full of self-pity to continue his acts of mischief in the realm of Midgard, or even form a real threat to the humans that dwelled nearby, they too abandoned him. For about a week after, Loki suffered from paranoia and nightmares about Thor and Odin, about his punishment, but they never came for him, although they were perfectly aware of his whereabouts. His paranoia worsened, because he realized that they had either chosen to abandon him, to ban him, or they had a plan, and that plan would be set on Midgard. Perhaps they would attempt to teach him a lesson? Loki wanted to forgot their faces, wanted to be undisturbed in his painful solitude, and he wanted to forgot about his misdeeds and crimes against the Midgardians, who had never been at war with anyone but themselves.

 

Possibly the most peaceful and yet most moronic realm of them all, Loki thought to himself, and then changed into a wolf to spare the morons of Midgard the gruesome sight that was his Jotun shape.

 

And then, against everything that had been his morals and self-image, he allowed for the unfeeling Scandinavian winter to devour him, and he became part of the wild nature as the animal he had chosen. Four weeks later, he found himself unable to shift back to his Æsir or even Jotun shape, and he was trapped in the shape of a wolf.

 

Odin had, of course, waited until the right moment to strip him of his magic, until his moment of complete surrender. Now he was left to ponder whether it would be permanent or the Allfather had something special prepared for him. But winter turned to spring and weeks slowly turned into months, and months to years. Loki forgot more and more about what and who he had been. Life on Midgard only seemed to detach him from his former reality, and he found himself spending less time pondering about all that was lost to him and more time considering his options, what the future held for him, and he realized that the Allfather was indeed trying to teach him a lesson.

 

The rambling old man had, of course, forgotten the thing most important to Loki, and that was the grudge he held against the family that had stabbed him so painfully in the back, and he could not trust or love. The only emotions that kept on twisting his insides, his mind, were those of hatred and blame and self-contempt. It had become his life now, in the shape of a wolf, and he was certain that Odin knew he held some of the blame. But Odin lacked that special ability of introspection.

 

 

Reader's view 

The two ravens that had followed you for months and months were no longer present, much to your disappointment. The usual spot in the branches of the tall fir outside your kitchen window had been abandoned a few days ago, the pieces of bread devoured by smaller birds that fled once you as much as neared the window, and you felt surprisingly hollow at the loss of company. You were used to being alone by then, having lived alone in the wilderness for last two years, and you didn’t miss nosy neighbours or noisy cars, not even on Christmas Eve did you miss a more social life. You had always been somewhat of a lone wolf, but after the incidents of the last few years, you had made the crucial decision to leave everything behind.

 

It turned out to be the best decision you had ever made.

 

But the ravens, whom had accompanied you for so long, were sorely missed. If the company of other human beings wasn’t welcomed, the company of animals was, and now you realized that maybe, just maybe it would be clever to get a cat.

 

“Crazy hermit cat lady,” you muttered to yourself. “Just love the sound of that! Thanks, but no thanks…”

 

You looked out through the windows and found that the white winter sun on a white winter sky made the snow-covered trees glitter in the most beautiful way. It meant that today would be perfect for skiing, which was something you had never enjoyed before moving from the big city. It wasn’t a competitive sport that parents would force their kids into anymore; it was a way to get from one place to another. And being the clever person you were, with no sense of direction whatsoever, you had made several ski trails through the thick forest. All of them lead to your favourite places, and you decided that you were having lunch outside in minus ten degrees.

 

You got dressed and brought all the needed equipment with you in your loyal backpack, all ready to go within minutes and spent a moment thinking back at your childhood and all the fuss about going skiing. It took hours to find everything and then you had to drive out of the city. By the time you and your parents were there, you had already managed to have four pointless arguments and all of you were angry at each other. You couldn’t help but to smile at the memory.

 

“And here we go…” you told yourself and decided to walk the yellow ski trail, which meant following the yellow pieces of paper you had hung in the trees. You didn’t trust your memory when the landscape as well as the sky was all white, just in case of the infamous snow-blindness that could possibly have you lost in-between all the trees. “And good luck to myself! Be careful now, so you don’t get lost…”

 

Not that the thought frightened you too much…

 

 

 Loki's POV

Loki was tired, on the very edge of giving up completely, having walked for days and days without having found prey to hunt. His stomach was growling angrily, his body feeling heavy and weak from the long distances he had been walking. In the shape of a wolf, the world seemed like one endless distance. Had he had his magical powers still, food would have been the least of his worries. But had he not been hungry his whole life? Hungry for power, for glory and for being acknowledged as the being he was. For being accepted.

 

This fifth winter on Midgard had taken his toll on him, both mentally and physically. A group of wolves had chased him from what he assumed was their territory in late autumn, leaving him very disorientated and closer to human beings than he preferred. It made him nervous; being very well aware of what Norwegian huntsmen did to wolves such as he, especially those close to the villages and the livestock.

 

Loki had never taken an interest in Midgard, probably because it had always been among Thor’s greater interests, and Loki would not have dreamed of having anything in common with Thor, that brawling madman. And now he was forced to live among the humans he had caused to suffer. For every day that went by living side by side with them, he only felt more confused as to their way of thought, which conflicted with his own inner reflections.

 

His new territory way close to a village where people were overly amused by attaching their feet to long wooden planks and pushing themselves forward with sticks on the crispy snow. He could never be too certain that he would not cross paths with the Midgardians as they were out amusing themselves in this peculiar way, which annoyed him. Sometimes an accompanying dog would catch the smell of him and bark to warn the owner, and then Loki would be in a hurry to get away. If a huntsman saw him, he would be on thin ice.

 

The language of these humans did however fascinate him. When he first had come close enough to overhear their conversations with each other, he had been able to catch a few words, as modern Norwegian is not entirely different from Norse, although the years had changed and altered the language of old. In the run of a few weeks, having listened to quite a few quotidian conversations, Loki was able to fully understand the language, although speaking would perhaps have proven itself more difficult.

 

Needless to say, he missed his Æsir shape and the tongue that followed.

 

He found it necessary to rest and walked quietly behind the trees to get back to the den that he had come to think of as home. While walking there, he was suddenly surprised by a large hart that jumped ever so graciously by, and what surprised him even more was that it seemed completely oblivious to his presence. But then it turned his head and looked at him with big black eyes, and Loki realized that this was no normal hart, but one sent by Odin.

 

Loki wondered briefly if it was a gift, but the thought was preposterous, seeing the Allfather would never provide him, the traitor, with anything but judgemental words.

 

Familiar anger of old welled up in him, and he didn’t hesitate to run after the hart, stomach still growling painfully. While he leapt towards it, only one word seemed to run through his head – food.

 

The hart didn’t hesitate to flee either, and suddenly they were on a wild chase through crispy snow and branches that went to every direction as he slammed his body into them, completely unconcerned with the painful blows and bruises as he ran. He needed to feast upon that animal, quite desperately, and if he failed now he would be too weakened to hunt down another animal. If Odin did not intervene, it would mean his death, and the thought was all that kept him pushing towards the goal.

 

Then, completely out of the blue, he could hear the sound of hoarse croaks in the distance, and he realized he was being watched. Had he been in a less starved, less angered condition, he would have been more suspicious and more watchful, but he wasn’t.

 

He was closing in on the hart, running with all his might, and as he was about to make the final jump, only mere inches away from the animal, when it vanished right into the thin air. Not until then did he realize what had happened – the hart had jumped off the edge of a clip, yet the lines were blurred because he couldn’t see colours through his wolf eyes and the snow made everything appear the same. And then the world came crashing down, his body rolling downhill and yet he couldn’t feel any pain or fright in that moment, merely closing his eyes and thinking of death.

 

Death would be a relief.

 

Then he was slammed into something hard and of large size, head first in a thunderous speed. He gasped for air, not having realized he had been holding his breath, and inhaled sharply before everything suddenly went black…

 

 

 Reader's view

You had been skiing for a good forty minutes when you stopped for a short break, wanting to enjoy the silvery scenery for a few minutes and have a cup of coffee from the thermos flask, as you’re a raging coffee addict with no desire to quit. Your cheeks felt numb from the cool air and you removed your woollen gloves and proceeded by lifting them to caress your red cheeks, sighing with delight as you felt them heat up again.

 

The coffee warmed you up properly again and you felt enchanted by the beautiful white in front of you. For a moment, your thoughts went back to the outskirts of Oslo and your friends and family who still lived their very ordinary lives there. They had the privilege of being able to care about stupidities such as traffic jams, expensive food and the neighbour’s cat that occasionally decided to use the flowerbed as its toilet. Not that you talked to them much, only around Christmas and on your birthday, but apart from that you only ever called your best friend and your grandparents on a regular basis. You were detached from the rest of the world, so to say, and you preferred it like that.

 

You warmed your fingers on the warm but empty cup for a couple of minutes more before deciding on finishing the small outing and had only gotten your gloves back on when you heard a very familiar, very synchronised pair of wings flapping lightly and the unmistakable sound of a raven’s croak. You jumped as you saw two familiar beaked creatures come flying through the trees, the both of them croaking as if very distressed. “Why, hello to you too,” you greeted them, but a feeling of unease quickly settled in your stomach. “Where did you two hide for the last few days?”

 

The ravens sat on a large branch quite close to you, and they observed you with eyes that seemed quite thoughtful, as if they was pondering about something. You shuddered, knowing something about the pair wasn’t quite right, and yet you felt unable to tear your eyes away from them.

 

“What’s wrong?” you whispered to yourself, your eyes still focusing fully on the big birds.

 

You were suddenly startled by an anguished scream of pain and the birds croaked in tune with it, almost as if deriding it, and your thoughts sought refuge in an old folk song about a giant crow that wanted to kill a man, but the man killed it first and used the beak for a boat.

 

“Skiing accident,” you stated, as they were common in the area as tourists came by and nearly got themselves killed while showing off. You were suddenly in a rush to get to the poor being, yet you had no idea were the pained scream had come from. Then the birds took off and if someone had asked you why you did it, you wouldn’t have known, but you followed them outside of your skiing trail and deeper into the woods. It simply seemed like the only right thing to do.

 

A large hart came into view, and without warning, ran towards you in what could only be described as one large jump. You weren’t afraid though, and you locked eyes with the unearthly creature with pitch black eyes. It was standing directly in front of you, and for whatever reason, you lifted your hand and the creature came willingly towards you and gently pushes its snout against the palm of your hand. The moment was precious, and you forgot about the scream for a slight moment. Thereupon the hart turned towards the still present ravens and you took notice of what seemed to have been a small, yet possibly fatal avalanche, and you realized that the scream must have come from there. Someone was buried underneath.

 

You rushed over to the site, eyes wide open, and for half a moment you had no clue what to do whatsoever, simply staring into the white. And then suddenly, out of nowhere, something locked around your foot and you screamed, completely petrified.

 

“ H-hjàlpa mèr,” someone wheezed and you looked down to find a man, halfway buried under snow and rocks that had come loose during the avalanche. Suddenly something inside you took control of the situation, an instinct of sorts, and everything went on autopilot as you dug him out.

 

Your mind didn’t have time to reflect over the fact that the man was fully undressed and seemed to be at bad health, too thin and too pale, and you simply did what you had to do. In the backpack, you had a “just in case” blanket and an extra pair of woolen socks and gloves, which you were overly happy about as you dressed him. He looked at you with eyes wide open and he was shaking quite violently. You suspected that he was suffering from hypothermia and you realized you needed to take him home and get him in the bathtub, urgently so.

 

You took off your jacket and tied it around him so that you would be able to drag him along with you. It seemed like the only possibility, seeing there were no one else nearby and you didn’t have your knife so couldn’t make a hasty sledge either. Besides, there was no time for second thoughts now, and you thanked all the gods you could think of for the fact that it went downhill from there and down to the cabin.

 

The man’s eyes were still wide open and he kept opening and closing his mouth, as if he wished to speak, and you were suddenly clear enough to feel the tears in your eyes and how cold your own hands were, the gloves soaked from the snow. “Don’t close your eyes,” you breathed and strapped your skis back on. “Don’t close…” You couldn’t finish the sentence as a broken sob slipped through your lips, and you focused on getting back to the cabin instead.

 

On the sky high above, you could see the two birds circling you, and had a life not depended on you, you would have offered their rather odd behavior a skeptical thought. All that was on your mind was to save him. You had to.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very brief chapter. I'm going back to school tomorrow, but I'll be posting whenever I have inspiration to write something, so the length will probably vary from each chapter :) 
> 
> Móðir = mother   
> Barnið mitt = my child

You were seated in your favourite armchair, a cup of steaming hot coffee in one hand and a bar of dark chocolate in the other. It was all you could think of to calm yourself in the situation you were currently in. In the other room, your bedroom, laid the man you had rescued earlier that very same day. Now the world outside of your cabin had gone black again, as it always would this time of year, and your eyes were glued to the door that was left wide open. You could see him from where you sat, and you found yourself unable to tear your gaze away as you sunk further into thought.

 

The man, whom had quickly faded into a state of unconsciousness, was breathing in a steady pace and was no longer in a state of hypothermia, thanks to your doing. You felt drained from the experience as a whole, but also very relieved that you had managed to save him, relieved and somewhat proud.

 

You finished your chocolate bar and put the empty cup away, a small and bewildered sigh escaping your lips as you once again walked over to his bedside and simply looked at what lay before you. He was a tall man, slim and delicate, with a wealth of glossy raven hair. You could not imagine what scenes of horror had taken place before you arrived that had left him in such a state. Never had you thought you would find someone naked in the forest in the middle of winter – surely someone must have placed him there? And what if those people were still nearby? How would you be able to defend yourself?

 

Perhaps you should have called the police, as had been your original idea, but something had made you overlook it – something had told you not to reveal his presence to anyone. It was a strange thought in the back of your head, a constant reminder, almost as a voice that did not belong to you. And had it not been for the circumstances, you would have brushed it off as something rather foolish, but then you remembered the ravens and the hart – the hart had that had made you feel so calm in the middle of it all. What unearthly powers had it possessed?

 

For a brief moment, you wondered if you had gone completely mad, or if the world had.

 

You decided that it was of no importance and decided to wait for the man to awake and answer to what had occurred in the forest before you arrived at the scene.

 

One simply did not randomly walk in on or create an avalanche while wandering the woods in the nudes.

 

With yet another sigh, you decided to go sleep on the couch, as the guest room was currently the storage room and you were too exhausted to be bothered by something as trivial as whether to sleep on the couch or on a mattress.

 

Before you drifted off, you could have sworn to have heard the sound of wings fluttering outside…

 

 

The next morning was as quiet as any morning. You were just about to start the usual morning routines when you remembered that it wasn’t just any morning, you had not fallen asleep in front of the television again and that there was a stranger in your bed.

 

“Good morning, sunshine” you whispered, more to yourself than the sleeping beauty in your bed, and you remembered how famished and hollow he had been when you had bathed him, but now he looked healthy apart from the shade of his skin, which seemed almost grey. “Aren’t you going to wake up soon?” you whispered, wondering whether he could hear you or not, but his face remained the same mask of oblivion.

 

You felt his forehead, expecting it to be warm from a fever after having been cooled down so badly, but found him to be quite cold. You frowned at this and decided to fetch him some more blankets and a hot-water bottle, much like your grandparents had when you had slept over at their place in wintertime.

 

“Hope you’re comfy,” you said rather loudly, although you were quite certain he wouldn’t hear you. For yet another moment, you simply watched over him and made an attempt at reasoning with yourself. “Please, wake up soon…” you pleaded into his ear.

 

The strange feeling of calm returned that moment, very similar to the incident with the hart, and you smiled distantly. For some reason, you just knew he would be fine.

 

“Everything will be just fine, dear,” you said and caressed his arm in a soothing manner, and only then did you realize the strangeness of those uttered words. It was as if the words had not fallen from your lips at all, they just came to be, and the moment you had said them, the man furrowed his brows confusedly.

 

You felt at a loss as to how to proceed, and you went entirely by your gut feeling, quickly draping your hand over his, squeezing it gently.

 

“M-móðir,” he gasped, his hand suddenly clinging to yours and you jumped, caught entirely by surprise. A sting of pain surged through your entire body, almost like an electric shock. Completely out of nowhere, an image infiltrated your mind – a stunning woman whose eyes held a pained glow to them, yet a forced smile loosely attached to her lips.

 

“Barnið mitt,” she whispered, unshed tears sparkling in her eyes. “Loki…”

 

You cried out in pain as the picture faded, your body going limp and the name of the Norse God kept ringing in your ears.

 

Your body refused to listen to you as you struggled for balance, and suddenly you were falling, your head smashed against one of the bedposts. The last thing you saw before blacking out completely was a mane of unruly black hair and words in a language that sounded strangely familiar…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case someone was wondering:
> 
> I just thought I should add that this story is a way for me to get rid of some anger towards certain people in my life. Some of the things that will be mentioned here are my own personal experiences. I am also a Norwegian and I just love the opportunity to take Loki back to Norway (instead of America) :D


End file.
